Even the reindeer get more attention than me!

Published: 27 December 2016

Author: Hayley Crossman-Shaw

Category: Blog

Dear Noel…….

I don’t know what to do. I feel as though my husband totally ignores me. We have been married for a very long time and although we don’t have children of our own, we have adopted lots of elves throughout our marriage. My husband does work hard, especially at Christmas. I help in the business logging in post and compiling updating the naughty and nice list; I also look after the home and the elves. This hard work seems to go unnoticed by my husband. I’ve had enough! Can you tell me where I would stand if I chose to end my marriage to my husband?
Mrs C – Lapland


Dear Mrs C

It can be difficult when you feel unappreciated by your spouse.  A lot of people, both men and women who contact me say that their relationship broke down when their partner started a new job or after a promotion at work. I would suggest that you try and talk to your husband about how you feel before making any decisions about your marriage. 

When a marriage breaks down, there are various aspects to consider such as i) on what grounds are you going to divorce; ii) how will you divide the assets between you; and iii) can you agree on how children (or adopted elves) will be cared for after the marriage has ended.

If you do choose to end your marriage, I would suggest that you seek independent legal advice and would recommend that you see a Collaboratively trained lawyer who will help you to keep the lines of communication between you and your husband open.  It sounds as though you have been through a lot together over the years and therefore I am sure that you would both like to resolve the issues between you in the least confrontational way as possible.  The lawyer will be able to explain the facts to prove that your marriage has irretrievably broken down and how your assets will be divided upon divorce and the financial claims which you may be able to make against one another.